ALPHA is a word that brings up mixed feelings – many of them negative – especially in the current state of wussification that exists today in America. Women tend to think that alpha males are cold, insensitive, domineering men who take what they want with no concern for others. Men typically think that being loud, aggressive and intimidating is what being an alpha male is all about. Well, both are bullshit.
How do I know? I know a lot of Alphas. Real Alphas. I’ve trained with Roberto “Cyborg” Abreu, the #1 Brazilian jiujitsu champion in the world. I have friends who are armed professional bodyguards to high-profile clients. I have friends who fight professional MMA and put it all on the line every time they step into the cage. I have other friends, clients and colleagues who live their lives on their own terms and forge their own path to success whether we’re in a “bad” economy or not. Although they are all badasses in their own right, they are also some of the coolest, most humble people you’ll ever meet. The goal is to be the Hero – not the villain.
Another problem with the term alpha is that it’s usually used to denote the leader of a particular group. In other words it’s just a comparison. And comparing yourself to others to define your level of success, happiness, strength, etc is a losing strategy.
Taking Back Alpha
It’s time to take back the term Alpha and redefine it as a worthy ideal that men should aspire to. The new concept of Alpha is a self-actualized, fulfilled, person who has a strong sense of who they are, what they want and lives life on their own terms. And someone who lives such a life of abundance that they feel it’s their duty to bring others up in the process.
In fact, a better term than Alpha male is Alpha Man. The Alpha Man is an archetype. A model that represents the best qualities of what being a man is all about. It’s something that all men should strive to be in our own way.
Traits of the Alpha Man
Here’s a list of traits that govern the behavior of an Alpha Man. It’s by no means all-inclusive; this is just scratching the surface.
Alphas are confident, not cocky. Confidence is really a lack of insecurity. Of course we all feel insecure at times but the real test is whether you let you insecurities hold you back from doing things. In fact, getting out of your comfort zone on a regular basis will make you feel more confident. Alphas know this and get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
2. Strong in Mind
This means two things:
1) The ability to feel your emotions but not let them control you
Too many people let their emotions get the best of them. Take every road rage incident for example. Or people who get really impatient. Alphas no how feel emotions while still making the best decisions for a particular outcome. There’s nothing wrong with asserting yourself or standing up for yourself. Just do it in a calm, cool confident way.
2) Continuously learning and evolving as a person.
Alphas are renaissance men. They know about a lot of different subjects that the average guy just doesn’t know. It might be knowing about wine, or firearms training, art, scuba diving, music, survivalist skills, stunt driving, and more. The type of man who is just as comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt at a bar as they are at a black tie event. Think James Bond. Keep learning new skills and information. It’s keeps your mind sharp.
3. Strong in Body
Although Alphas may not be the absolute strongest man around, he’s definitely in shape. There’s nothing Alpha about being weak and unhealthy. Make sure you hit the gym consistently and do your best.
Hire a trainer if you’re new to exercise. Get a professionally designed workout program if your technique is up to par. Make sure you seek out the best possible advice to make your time in the gym well spent.
Far too many guys are afraid of being authentic. They fear what other people will think if they new who they really are. Part of what gives people anxiety is this very thing. Alphas are unapologetic about who they are but at the same time, they don’t push their beliefs on other people. Respect other people but be yourself. The best version of yourself.
I know a lot of Alphas. Although they are all bad asses in their own way, they all have a humble side to them. This is a key difference between real Alphas and bullies who think they’re Alpha. Bullies need the spotlight and to assert themselves to try to impress people. True Alphas never try to impress anybody. It would just never occur to them to do it.
6. Commitment To Excellence
Alphas have a commitment to excellence in everything they do. They do it because of their commitment to the ideal – not because they are looking for praise or to impress anyone. Be committed to excellence in your own life for the sake of excellence. Paradoxically, when you do this without being attached to the outcome, great things happen. People notice. Women notice. Your business colleagues and clients notice.
Having a strong personality can come off as intimidating without a sense of humor. A good sense of humor breaks the ice and makes people feel comfortable. And although an Alpha has the ability to intimidate, he knows that making people feel comfortable is what being Alpha is really about.
8. Knowing How to Please a Woman
No, I’m not talking about doing chores of the “honey do” list. As men, our sexual energy is a source of strength and confidence. Knowing how to please a woman sexually is an important part of what it means to be a man. And pleasing a woman sexually means a lot more than just the physical. It means being confident, flirtatious, having a sexy edge, earning her trust, and being emotionally open whether it’s just for one night or a long-term relationship. Of course, knowing how to please physically is important too, but the Alpha Man knows that women respond to you first at the energetic level. The physical comes after.