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RTF 117: The Magic Ratio For Happiness: The Secret To A Happy And Fulfilled Life with Ted Ryce

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RTF 117: The Magic Ratio For Happiness: The Secret To A Happy And Fulfilled Life with Ted Ryce

How often have you said, “I just want to be happy”? Or how many times did you say to a loved one: “I just want you to be happy”.

Happiness is the biggest desire we all have. All people want to be happy.

But still, most of us struggle with staying in a good emotional state for a long time. Why is that? Have you ever wondered why is it so hard to be happy most of the time?

Well, there is actually a scientific reason for that and it has to do with the way our brain is wired.

But is there a way to balance this negativity bias we all come with in this world? Is there a magic formula, a magic ratio to happiness and positivity?

The answer is “Yes” and in this new Real Talk Friday episode Ted Ryce will reveal it.

He will also talk about the reason why it is a struggle to stay positive most of the time, how early childhood experiences affect us as adults, the impact of trauma on our nervous system, how to create more positive experiences in your life and much more.

Listen now to find out the magic formula to a happy, positive and fulfilled life!

 

You’ll learn:

  • The reason why it a struggle to stay positive most of the time
  • What is the negativity bias in our brain and why do we have it?
  • How early childhood experiences affect us as adults
  • The impact of trauma on our nervous system
  • Balancing the bad experiences with good ones
  • Barbara Fredrickson’s magic ratio for happiness
  • John Gottman’s ratio to healthy relationships
  • The magic key to a happy and fulfilled life
  • How to create more positive experiences in your life
  • The importance of having a meaningful purpose
  • Finding the areas in your life that need more positivity
  • Important steps to take towards a happier life
  • And much more…

 

Links Mentioned:  

Join the “FIT TO LEAD” Facebook Group Now!

The Science of Love – John Gottman’s TED Talk

Book: Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the 3-to-1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life – by Barbara Fredrickson

Book: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk

 

Related Episodes:  

468: How to Find Happiness, Focus & Productivity No Matter How Busy You Are with Jeff Sanders

405: How to Be Happy in Life & Work: Stop Trying So Hard with Edward Slingerland

402: The Secret To A Happy Life with Ed Latimore

 

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1) Want to learn the simple 5-step process my high achieving clients over 40 are using to skyrocket their energy and build younger leaner bodies while enjoying life? Watch my brand new Masterclass.

2) Join my Exclusively Facebook Group for CEOs, executives, entrepreneurs, business owners and other high performers who are looking to lose 15-30 lbs of fat and transform their bodies without giving up their favorite foods or social life in the process. Join the “FIT TO LEAD” Facebook Group Now!

3) Work with my team and me directly in the Legendary Life Program and get started reclaiming your health and creating the body you’ve always wanted right awayMarvel at the testimonials here first, then schedule your call.

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Podcast Transcription: The Magic Ratio For Happiness: The Secret To A Happy And Fulfilled Life with Ted Ryce  

Ted Ryce: Why is it such a struggle to stay positive, to stay in a good emotional state most of the time? Have you ever wondered that? Have you ever wondered why it’s such a challenge? Well, we’re going to dive into that today, and we’ve got a lot to get to, so let’s jump right in.

And first, I’ve got to say welcome back to the show, I’m your host, Ted Ryce, coach to executives, entrepreneurs, and other high-performers; people who want to get in shape without giving up their lifestyle, or their favorite foods. That’s what I help people do. And we’ll talk about even how that’s related to what our subject is, what the theme is for today’s Real Talk Friday.

I want to tell you this first: I’m in Orlando right now. If you don’t know my story, if you’ve only listened to a couple of episodes, I’m from Miami, I grew up in Miami, I’ve been coming to Orlando since I was a little kid. It was such a special place to go; some of the best memories of my childhood are here. I’m even getting a little teary even talking about it.

And as you probably have heard, my dad died last October, I’ve mentioned that quite a lot. And I’m still processing. Now, one of the reasons why I keep mentioning it, is because, man, that’s the reality. If you want me to pretend like nothing’s happening, go to a different show.

If you want all those people who pretend like their life is so perfect and they never tell you the truth about what’s going on, go to a different show. We keep it real here, that’s why it’s called Real Talk Friday. So, if you’re still with me, let’s continue.

So, this stuff has happened, right? I’m not going to go into the backstory, but it’s a big deal, the death of my dad. And I’m back here in Orlando. I was here a year ago, actually, after my dad died, after we buried him in Miami, I came straight to Orlando, and went to Universal Studios and rode roller coasters. Is that weird for you? If you’ve been listening to the show for a while, probably not.

And if you’re wondering, well, what does this have to do with staying positive? What has the death of your dad and riding rollercoasters, where the hell are you going with this? Well welcome, because I’m going to connect the dots for you here. Because this is exactly the stuff that you can use in your life.

In fact, one of the most common questions people have asked me, how are you able to get past all these things that you’ve been through in your life and still be positive, and still show up with enthusiasm, with optimism, with dreams that you’re still going after? How come you’re not knocked down? And how come you don’t stay down? I don’t get it.

And what I shared last year was this, and we’re going to expand on this. Why did I go and ride roller coasters after I buried my dad? Really simple, wait for it. Because you can’t be sad on a rollercoaster. I’m going to say that again, it sounds ridiculous, but I want you to think about it. You cannot be sad on a rollercoaster. This time around, they have the Veloster coaster; it’s the new rollercoaster in the Jurassic Park area of Universal Studios, if you’re familiar, if you’re a fan of Universal, like I am.

And it’s incredible, I got to sit in the front, and I want to back up a little bit, because as soon as I got to Orlando, it brought up a lot of old feelings. It’s connected with my childhood. I’ve got a crazy story about my childhood, about my family, about all the things that have happened, the murder of my little brother, my sister’s suicide, all these things.

And on top of that, I moved from, or flew from Playa Del Carmen, Mexico to here, it was a big change, so it’s stressful to adapt to a new environment. I know you listen to me and how I’m bouncing around all over the world, and you think it’s amazing, and it is! But it’s also stressful to adapt.

So, here I am, I got a ton of work to do, I’m in a new environment, there’s some good things about it, there’s some bad things about it, I’m staying in a hotel. And it rubbed me the wrong way, brought back up some childhood memories. So, what did I do? I made sure I went and took the day off, went to Universal.

Now, I want to transition here, because you may not be getting it, and forgive me, I’m doing my best here to explain what this is about. And the first thing I’ve got to say is: In 2001, some cognitive psychologists discovered that we have a bias in our brain. We have in fact, what’s called a negativity bias. Have you ever heard of that?

If you’ve listened to this show, you’ve heard me talk about it. So, what does that mean? Well, it’s one of the most understated effects in all of cognitive science, behind why negative events, emotions, and thoughts trump, by a very wide margin, our positive emotions, thoughts and experiences.

Now, here’s the thing, the belief is this, that this bias kept us alive. So, in the past, it helped you, for example, negative tastes elicit a stronger response than positive tastes. So, imagine eating—I won’t be too gross here—but imagine eating…Okay, think of ice cream, hmm, close your eyes, brownie, like chunks of brownie and some vanilla ice cream, or maybe even chocolate ice cream, hmm, delicious.

But now think about that time you opened up the milk, you took the milk out of the refrigerator, opened it up, you were about to chug it out of the carton, but that sour milk smell hit you, ooh! Strong, much stronger than the deliciousness of the ice cream.

And the reason is this, or the belief is this, that it’s more important to avoid foods or drinks that can make you sick, because they can kill you. If you got sick enough, you could die. In fact, dysentery, which is, I don’t know that much about it, but it’s basically like a bacterial infection that causes chronic diarrhea, kids die from that in the world.

Another thing is that pain feels worse, then no pain feels good. It’s also why it’s easier to pick out an angry face in the crowd than it is to pick out a happy face. And it’s why the news constantly shoves the doom and gloom in our faces, instead of talking about positive breakthroughs, or positive stories. We just pay more attention to it, because of the way our brains are wired. Are you with me so far?

So, if you’re wondering why you’re so negative, or why it’s so easy to be negative, It’s because all of us are wired in this way. Now, if you want to even set the stage a little bit more, studies on twins have found that parts of our personality are genetic. And one of the five personality traits is neuroticism. Some of us are born more neurotic than others. Simply because of our genes.

Now, if you really want to get crazy, if you were exposed to more cortisol, which is a stress hormone, while you were in your mother’s womb. In other words, if your mom was super stressed out, because she was poor, or she was in a dangerous environment or something like that, she was living in poverty, you’re going to have a tendency to be more triggerable— and this is all before you’re born folks. And we all still have the same negativity bias.

Now, let’s say you have some hard events in life. My mom, my biological mother, she was mentally ill, she was abusive—no need to get into details, it wasn’t her fault, but it messed me up as a kid, messed up my sister too. Out of all the things that happen to us, that was the strongest. Why? Because we were so young. Why does that matter?

Because when you are young, your brain isn’t fully formed until you’re 25, I don’t know if you knew that or not, but until you’re 25, the halves of your brain, the hemispheres of your brain aren’t fully fused. Your brain isn’t fully developed until you’re 25. Now, you know why people under 25 are so dumb, okay? They’re not dumb, their brains just aren’t functioning as well as they will function eventually. In fact, why do you think insurance companies charge a lot more if you’re younger, and especially for men; men tend to be a bit more impulsive or in risk taking.

So anyway, if you had some challenging life events, like I’ve had, that’s going to make you more negative, or put your nervous system in a more heightened and aware state, or hypervigilant state. So, right now we have your genes, we have the environment, in utero, environment, in other words, what the environment was, what your mother was going through before you were even born. Then we have your early life experiences, and then there could be other things that happen to you as an adult, trauma.

And again, we’re still all working with the same wiring, the same negativity bias. So, think about that. We’re all coming into the world with that negativity bias, even if we have the most perfect of lives, even if our mom was massaged and fed berries, fed Tibetan goji berries, that are thrice certified organic while she was getting foot massages, you’re still coming in with the negativity bias.

And then if you add on some of those things, if you didn’t have—if your parents lived a stressful lifestyle. If you went through some things in your youth, if you were bullied, if you had an experience like me, if you grew up in poverty, if you grew up in a violent neighborhood, that’s going to put you on edge a little bit more. And so, you might be asking, “Oh shit, I’ve got some of that. Well, what the hell do I do about it? I don’t want to be this negative.”

Because negativity, it’s not helping, it doesn’t help like, it probably helped in the old days, in the hunter-gatherer days. It doesn’t help in the modern world, especially if you live in a place like America, oh my gosh! Life is so easy here in so many ways. In other ways, it’s not a lot of psychosocial stress, we are at each other’s throats over politics, and beliefs, and identity, that’s a story for another time.

But living is so much easier. I’ve traveled all over Southeast Asia, I’ve lived in Mexico, I’ve lived in Columbia, I’ve lived in Brazil, let me tell you. America, regardless of what you think about your experience in America, or the UK or Australia, it’s one of the best places there is in the entire world.

So, what do we do when there’s negativity bias really takes hold, and we know it’s not helping us with our health, it’s not helping us to advance in our careers, it’s not helping us run our businesses, and certainly not helping us in relationships? What do we do? Is there a magic number of positive experiences perhaps, compared to negative experiences, that if we just do that, we can be in a better emotional state and conquer our innate negativity bias, and perhaps some of the early life experiences that have left a mark?

And the answer is yes. Think about how crazy this is. I want you to think about how crazy this is. Because I don’t know about you, but when I was in the depths of some of my “feeling sorry for yourself moment,” I would just think to myself, like, “Oh, man, how do I have a better life here? What’s the secret to having a better life? Like, how can that happen? What’s the key?

Well, I’ll tell you what. Check this out: there was a psychologist, Barbara Fredrickson, who found a research tested formula for flourishing in life. And what she found was this: For every negative experience we have, we need three positive experiences to counteract that. I’m going to say that again. For every negative experience you have, you need three positive experiences to keep you in that positive zone, that feel good zone, that zone where you’re feeling your best.

And she’s not the only one. Relationship expert, John Gottman found that when he studied the effects of negativity with couples, he came up with, along with his partner, Robert Levinson, the ratio of 5:1. That meaning for every negative encounter, there should be a minimum of five positive ones to counterbalance the effects of the negative one.

Now, who’s right here? Who knows? Probably different for different people. According to your life experience, right? And according to some of the things that we talked about earlier. And in relationships, I mean, there are two people involved, that’s a bit more complicated, so it’s not surprising...

Now, I’ve not read up on the research here, to be honest. But it makes sense, that because there’s two people, and two genetic tendencies of neuroticism, and two different childhoods, and other things, maternal environments, maternal in utero environments, that it would be 5:1.

And listen, I don’t know as much about Barbara Fredrickson, but I’ll tell you, if you’ve got some relationship issues, or you want to avoid relationship issues, because you’re a smart person, and you believe in prevention over the cure—an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure—go to YouTube and watch John Gottman’s, The Science of Love, Ted Talk, it’s incredible, it will change the game for you.

It’s less about what we say, it’s more about how we feel in a relationship. So, I want to talk about this ratio. It doesn’t matter if you want to use the three to one, or five to one, or maybe you want to take the average, and say four to one. But I want to say something about this, because this is the part that I think a lot of people miss.

A lot of us, it’s number one, we have negative experiences, our tires go flat on the way to work, we incur expenses that we weren’t expecting, we have things go wrong in our business, if we’re running a business. People get sick unexpectedly, things happen. But when I think about…So, my point is, it’s easy to figure out what’s negative? Easy to figure out. Oh, man, no! Yeah, it’s easy to figure out, you feel it right away.

And I think a lot of us feel the overwhelmingly positive experience. But I think a lot of us are stuck somewhere in the middle, and I work with…it doesn’t matter if you’re…let’s say you’re struggling financially, that for sure can cause problems. But I want to tell you this, I work with very successful people; most of them are entrepreneurs, doing very well. And their career, their business, maybe a slight positive, maybe a slight negative. Most of the time is probably neutral, and that’s the part I want to talk about

A lot of where our lives are, it’s neutral. What do we do? Americans in particular, we go out to eat. Now, I’m not going to say that’s a negative experience, but if it’s positive, it’s not a strongly positive experience, especially if you’re doing it a lot. And maybe every once in a while. But then it can get a little bit complicated, let’s say that you go out to dinner with the boys, celebrating some business wins.

You get the gold crusted wagyu tomahawk, and have a few classes of Opus One or Petrus 2003, whatever you’re into, a little blue label, whatever you’re into. And let’s say it was pretty good, but then you woke up the next day feeling bad, not because of a negative experience, but simply because you had a few drinks, you had some shitty sleep as a result, and you just feel bad the next day.

Again, you had a great time, but it just wasn’t so great that it counteracted the effects, the hangover effects, the toxic effects really, because alcohol is a poison, maybe a fun poison, and somewhat tasty poison, and depending on what you’re drinking. But you have too much of it, it’ll mess you up. And so, what I want to tell you here, and I just want to recap.

So. we have a negativity bias, all of us do, no matter how perfect our lives are. The second most important thing is our childhoods, even from before we were born, the in-utero environment affects us and our nervous system coming into the world. Then you have other things that happen. And the older you are, the more your body starts to break down—a lot of people say, “Age is just a number.’ And there is some truth to that, and there’s also some bullshit to that, isn’t there?

We know that the worst thing you can do for your health, isn’t obesity, it isn’t smoking, although both a really up there, it’s getting older. And if you look at COVID numbers, the worst thing you can be for COVID is old, the worst thing you can be for heart disease, or cancer, is old.

And I’m not saying, oh man, you’re done if you’re over 60. What I am saying is that you’re going to have to work harder. We know that sleep starts to get worse, so you’re going to have to work harder as you get older on your health.

So, the next thing I want to talk about here, kind of lost my train of thought there, really sorry about that. But I’m trying to figure out how the best way to explain this, you know? And I have my moments. I promise I’ll land the plane at the end, but the next thing we should talk about is this:

There are three big areas where our positivity comes from, and our negativity comes from. In other words, the things that give us joy in our life, the things that give us a lot of stress in our life.

And it’s really simple: health, wealth, and relationships. Health being everything from your sleep to how often you exercise, whether you exercise too much, whether you exercise too little, are you overweight? Are you underweight? Very rare in our Western society, but in south Asia, for example, it does happen, other parts of the world, it does happen. And it’s not healthy, big-time consequences to being underweight, especially for children.

But anyway, there’s the health—and I would ask you, rate yourself on health, like what are the positives coming from your health? What are the negatives coming from your health? Then we can look at wealth. And wealth isn’t just how much money you have, it’s the purpose that you have when you go to work? Are you doing purposeful work? It’s not just about the money, it’s about what are you doing for the money? How good do you feel about it? I love doing this podcast, for example, I love coaching clients. My work is mostly positive in that way.

Now, I’ll tell you, I’ll be honest, some of the things that I do for work…now, I love coaching, I love doing the podcast, I love doing interviews. You know what I don’t love? Some of the business stuff that I got to do, it’s stressful, and I don’t want to do it.

I never shy away from a coaching call, or writing programs for clients or coaching clients to success. I get high off of it. So, it’s a positive. But some of the things that I have to do to continue to grow my business, I’m not a fan of. So, that gives you an example of what I’m talking about in terms of wealth.

Also, if you’re struggling financially, that’s got a ton of problems with it. Poverty sucks, and it sucks the life out of you, there’s a research on it. However, if you make a million a year, but you’re spending it as fast as you earn it on…I mean, it’s easy to spend money. I remember asking one of my client, what’s the deal, right? Why more and more and more?

And he’s like, “Well, you can buy a painting for a million, you can buy a painting for 10 million, you can buy a painting for a hundred million.” He was into art, he was using that example.

So, it’s easy to get yourself into a bad situation there, and again, if you don’t have purpose with what you’re doing... I remember training a client in Miami Beach, he was running a billion-dollar company, the guy was tired of it, it was clear. How did I know? He told me.

He was like, “Ha, I want to do some startups…” but he didn’t want to leave, because he felt like he wasn’t going to get, if he sold his company, he wasn’t going to get a billion dollars for it. He didn’t need the money, he just couldn’t get over the principle.

The obsession with money was so much stronger than doing what he really cared about doing with his life. Maybe there was more to the story and he didn’t share it, but the way he shared it, that’s the impression that I got.

So, where are you with your wealth? What are the things from your career, from your money situation, maybe philanthropy’s situation, are you doing enough for others? Where is it bringing you positivity? Where is it causing you stress in a negative way?

And then relationships, where are your relationships? Not just a relationship with your husband, or your wife, or your children, or your parents, or your in-laws, all of them, with your friends, all of them, all the relationships, where are they bringing you positivity, where are they bringing you stress?

It’s a great exercise to sit down and do. You can even do it as simple as some something I’ve mentioned before. Where are you on a scale of 1 to 10 with your health? Where you on a scale 1 to 10 with your wealth? Where are you on a scale of 1 to 10 with your relationships? And then which one’s the lowest, that’s the one you should work on, that’s the one that’s for whatever reason you’re rating low. Why are you rating it low? Why is it low? Why is it a three, or a five, or six? Why is it not higher? And what actions need to be taken? And that’s the point we need to get to here, is the actions.

I was feeling bad when I first got to Orlando, so what did I do? I toughed it out for a couple of days, then I took the whole day off, and went and just rode roller coasters. I got there at 9:00 AM in the morning, I stayed there until 8:00 PM. I spent 11 hours walking around, so that’s a positive thing to do, even though my feet were a little—my right foot was a little achy, that was a positive thing to do for my health, I was outside, so I was getting a lot of sunlight, which helps with circadian rhythms. And so that helps with positivity.

I was riding these rides where, man, such an amazing experience, like I said, you can’t be depressed on a roller coaster. You might be depressed a few minutes later after you get off. And I want to say something else here.

There’s a great book called The Body Keeps Score, by Bessel van der Kolk. Don’t ask me to spell that, he’s a Dutch psychiatrist actually, and it’s a fantastic book, it’s a book about recovering from trauma. And basically, it’s about how this all comes down to stress, it all comes down to our nervous system, it all comes down to doing things that decrease the amount of sympathetic activation in your nervous system.

In other words, what lowers the RPMs on your fight or flight response? What makes it less triggerable? And the answer is, having experiences. And it’s very fascinating, in the book, he talks about how he was part of the group of people who thought that antidepressant medications were going to change the game for his clients. And then he said, you know what? It’s just putting a band aid on the problem.

People didn’t want to take any depressants or real depressants, like alcohol, or shove food in their face, because they’re experiencing negative emotions, and they’re not dealing with them properly.

Because if you’re becoming an alcoholic, or if you’re becoming obese, or if you’re becoming a gambling addict, or if you’ve got a house full of stuff that you keep buying, because your dopamine spikes when you do it, and it feels good at the time, but it doesn’t solve the root problem, that’s not healthy.

There’s nowhere, anywhere in anything—I’m not judging you, and I’ve been there, but it ain’t healthy, it’s not a good place to be. And the answer he says is to go and have those experiences. Go do yoga, is one of the things he’s really into. In fact, his Psychiatry clinic in Boston, it’s all about having sematic experiences. In other words, doing things with your body, very fascinating.

One of the things I’ll tell you I really want to do, is I want to go to these people and interview them at their place. I want to do more media like that. You know what they say, like, what would you do if you won the lottery tomorrow? Would you still be doing what you’re doing? I would say, yes. Just the podcast would probably be a TV show of some sort, and I would be going to these places, I would figure out a way to monetize it or whatever, make money from it.

But I would be going to these places and showing you, showing you the way, showing you what the best of the best do. You probably never even heard of Besser VanderKolk, because Ben Greenfield and what’s his name? Dave Asprey ain’t going to have him on his show, because he’s not a big influencer with a huge following, even though his book has got a ton of reviews on it. It’s a best seller.

Now, I want to change the game a little bit here, I’m reading another book called The Art Of Impossible, by Steven Kotler, incredible book. I love Steven Kotler’s stuff, I want to get him back on the show, he’s been on the show a few times. And what he says is the same thing, you got to go out there and you got to have experiences if you want to create impossible breakthroughs.

Whether it’s capital “I” impossibles like solving some of the world’s biggest problems, or solving some lowercase impossibles, where it’s just things that you don’t believe that you’re capable of, that’s the path to high-performance. And if you solve enough of the lowercase, I don’t know why I keep calling it little, lowercase impossibles, lowercase, “I” impossibles, you just might end up solving an uppercase impossible.

And he coaches some of the—he talks to YPO, at all these events, high-level events. So, whether you’re interested in changing the world or not, maybe you’re just interested in changing your world, this is the path forward.

So, I just want to recap again, number one, we talked about our negativity bias. No matter what our story is, we all come with the same wiring. Two is those early childhood experiences and adult experiences can make your nervous system more sensitive through stress, making it more hypervigilant, making it more negative, making you more triggerable, and if that’s the case, how do you balance things out? Well, it comes down to a ratio of more positive experiences than negative ones.

Barbara Fredrickson, she’s got a book out, I forget the name of her book, she says its three to one positive experiences for every one negative expense. In the case of relationships, relationship expert, John Gottman says it’s five positive experiences, actually a minimum of five positive experiences to every negative one.

This is the key, folks, I don’t know if you’re getting this, I hope I’m doing a good enough job, but this is the key, folks.

And then all you got to ask yourself, what are the areas in my life that I need more positive experiences to balance out the negative ones? Not even to balance out, but to stay in a positive state. Is it my health? My constantly feeling bad because I’m overweight? Because you look in the mirror, and you say terrible things to yourself, because you have no energy, because you don’t sleep well at night, because you have sleep apnea or whatever the case might be.

Or is it your career? Is it something where you don’t have enough money? Or maybe you make a lot of money, but you have no purpose. Maybe you just keep spending that money on things like the Petrus 1996, and when you go on vacations, you have the five-star experience, but you just come back fatter and with a hangover. Or is it in relationship? Are you in a relationship you shouldn’t be in? Or maybe you do need to be in counseling, or maybe you’re single. Where is it coming from?

And the last thing here is, what steps do you need to take to get to the next level? It’s as simple as that. It can be hard to figure out, what are those next steps. That’s why there’s coaches, that’s why there’s therapists. Gosh, there’s so many people. There’s no reason, except the lack of resources, and even if you’re broke, you can start listening to podcasts or audio books, you can take the next step with an audio book. And if you got the resources, if you got the money, hire someone, get it fixed, then move on to the next one.

I’ve had clients who got into great shape with me, and then they started saying, “You know, I think…let me ask you Ted, I don’t know if I’m in the right marriage.” And I was like, “Whoa! I’m not ready, I’m not…” At first, I was shocked, but then it started becoming quite common to hear how once someone got themselves in better physical shape, they started realizing, ah, there’s other problems that need to be dealt with here.

For me, it was more financial. When I was so stuck barely making my bills every month, and then finally, I started making 10K a month, and then I’m like, “Oh, awesome. I’ve made it, oh no! Wait a minute…” now there’s all these existential struggles, and my big thing now, it’s like, my business is continuing to grow, but I’m like, I’m about to turn 45, all my family’s gone, and I don’t have children, I’m not married, in fact, I’m divorced. So, that’s my area I’m going to work on.

My business is something that I want to keep growing, because it’s—to be honest, I love what I do, but I want to turn it into something that is less reliant on me, get some other streams of income in, that’s a goal. But the big one is relationships. I want to say this: If you ever hear me, and I sound like I have it all together, I’m challenged.

Look, let me tell you something. I’ve sat down with Richard Branson, I’ve worked with celebrities, with multimillionaires, guys living in $20 million mansions, guys with Ferrari collections, and one of them’s worth 8 million bucks, because it’s a 90, a special 1969 Ferrari.

Look, nobody has it all figured out, folks, nobody has it all figured out, life is constantly changing, and the way to win the game of life is to simply stay in the game of life, and stay in a positive emotional state in the game of life. Staying in a state of gratitude, even through the challenges.

Of course, you’ve got to grieve, you’ve got to cry, you’ve got to shake your fist to the heavens, and scream, why me? But you got to come back from that point, and that’s the big takeaway that I learned, I’ve had to really create, why do you think I do a job that I love? It’s not just because I’m like, “Oh, let me do something I love.” No, I was forced into it, because a person without my background maybe able to do something that they hate, and just say hey, “I want to get paid, I hate it, I don’t care about it at all, I don’t care about what I do at all.”

But yeah, I pay the bills, and have a good life, and that’s okay. But for me, I don’t really have a choice, I can’t handle it. So, if you’re thinking, I’m all tough, you’re wrong, nobody is, not one single person, no matter how tough they talk. Always keep that in mind with all the influencers and everyone out there, we’re all just trying to figure it out.

With all your heroes, the Elon Musks…I don’t know Elon, never hung out with him, but I know Richard and his family, great family, I mean, I don’t know, some people don’t like him, because of the political views, that’s not what I’m talking about. Just the vibe you get, like, does he care about people? Does he care about his family? Or are they just accessories? Like his mansion, right? Or whatever, his Island, rather.

And so anyway, nobody has it figured out. But that’s not an excuse to not take the next steps. So, what I want to leave you with is this, what are the next steps that you need to take? What’s the big takeaway from this podcast? And what’s the next step you needed to take?

What is the action? Because, don’t be one of those people, don’t be a podcast junkie, everyone thinks information, information, I’m learning, information, more information, I’m learning more information, I’m learning.

No, that’s not learning, that’s mental masturbation, that’s procrastination, learning is learning, going and doing, learning then doing, learning then doing. And if you’re not following through on the doing part, you’re not learning, you’re not progressing.

So, what do you need to go do? That’s what I want to leave you with, love you a lot, have an amazing weekend, go take some action, and speak to you on Monday.

 

Ted Ryce
Ted Ryce
Ted Ryce is a high-performance coach, world-class fitness trainer, and a longevity evangelist. A leading fitness professional for over 20 years in the Miami Beach area, who has worked with celebrities like Sir Richard Branson, Rick Martin, Robert Downey, Jr., and dozens of CEOs of multimillion-dollar companies. In addition to his fitness career, Ryce is the host of the top-rated podcast called Legendary Life, which helps men and women reclaim their health, and create the body and life they deserve.

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